If you've been invited to a Korean funeral—or you're thinking about attending one—you might feel unsure about what to do.
What should you wear? Do you have to bow? Is it okay to give money?
Many foreigners living in Korea ask the same questions. Korean funeral customs are quite different from those in the West, and it's easy to feel nervous about doing the wrong thing.
This guide will walk you through the basic steps of attending a Korean funeral.
From what to wear to how to offer your condolences, you’ll learn how to show respect in a culturally appropriate way. Whether you're new to Korea or just want to be prepared, this guide is for you.
Table of Contents :
- Understanding Korean Funeral Culture
- When and How to Visit the Funeral Hall
- What to Wear: Dress Code for Mourners
- Step-by-Step: How to Pay Your Respects
- Condolence Money: How Much and How to Give It
- Do’s and Don’ts at a Korean Funeral
- Extra Tips: What to Do If You’re Unsure
- FAQs About Korean Funerals for Foreigners
Understanding Korean Funeral Culture
In Korea, funerals are typically held over three days. This tradition is called samiljang (3일장).
The first day is for preparation, the second for mourning and visits, and the third for the burial or cremation.
Most funerals take place in funeral halls, which are usually part of large hospitals. Each family rents a space—called a "binsang" (빈소)—where friends, coworkers, and relatives can come to pay their respects.
While some funerals may include religious elements (Buddhist, Christian, etc.), the main focus is on showing respect to the deceased and their family. It's less about religion, and more about paying tribute with sincerity and quiet presence.
Don’t worry if you’ve never been to one. You’re not expected to know everything. Just showing up, being respectful, and following others’ lead goes a long way.
When and How to Visit the Funeral Hall
Korean funeral halls are usually open nearly 24 hours during the three-day period.
Most people visit on the second day, but it’s okay to go anytime during the funeral period.
If someone close to you, or their parent, has passed away, you’ll typically hear through a direct message or a mutual contact.
They may share the location and binsang (funeral room) number with you that way.
When you arrive at the funeral hall—often in the hospital’s basement or first floor—check the front desk for directions.
You’ll find a guestbook at the entrance. Write your name and quietly follow the flow of the room.
What to Wear: Dress Code for Mourners
When attending a Korean funeral, wearing black or very dark-colored clothing is standard.
A black suit with a white shirt and a black tie is ideal for men. For women, a black dress or blouse with a long black skirt or pants is appropriate.
Avoid bright colors, flashy accessories, or heavy makeup. Neat and modest is the key.
If you don’t have a formal black outfit, dark navy or charcoal gray can also be acceptable—especially for foreigners.
- Shoes: Wear clean, closed-toe shoes. Black is preferred.
- Accessories: Simple. No perfume or loud jewelry.
- Nails & Hair: Keep them natural and tidy.
Step-by-Step: How to Pay Your Respects
When you enter the binsang (funeral room), follow these general steps:
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Sign the guestbook
Near the entrance, there will be a table with a guestbook and sometimes an envelope box for condolence money. Write your name and a brief message like “With deepest sympathy.” -
Present condolence money (if you’re giving it)
Put the money in a white envelope and place it in the box or hand it to the staff nearby. We’ll explain more about this in the next section. -
Approach the altar
You’ll see a portrait of the deceased at the front of the room, often surrounded by white flowers and offerings. -
Bow twice
Stand before the altar, bow deeply twice. If you're not religious, this is still a gesture of respect—don’t worry, no chanting or prayers are expected from you. -
Moment of silence
Some people do a short silent prayer, or just quietly reflect for a moment. -
One more bow to the family
After paying respect to the deceased, turn to the family (usually seated on the right or left) and give a short bow. A quiet “I’m sorry for your loss” in English or “고인의 명복을 빕니다” in Korean is fine. -
Optional: Stay for food
You may be invited to a simple meal with others. If you’re in a rush, it’s okay to politely decline.
💡 Tip: If you’re unsure about what to do, watch the person in front of you and follow along. Koreans don’t expect foreigners to be perfect—they appreciate the effort.
Condolence Money: How Much and How to Give It
Giving condolence money is a common part of Korean funeral etiquette. It’s called "부의금 (buuigeum)" and helps support the grieving family with funeral costs.
How much should I give?
| Relationship | Suggested Amount (KRW) |
|---|---|
| Coworker (same dept) | 30,000 – 50,000 |
| Friend’s parent/sibling | 50,000 – 100,000 |
| Close friend/family | 100,000 – 200,000+ |
For most foreigners, ₩50,000 in a white envelope is considered respectful and appropriate in most cases.
How to prepare it:
-
Use a plain white envelope (no colors, no designs).
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Write your name and sometimes your contact info on the back.
-
No message inside is needed, unless you're very close to the family.
If you can’t attend in person, it's becoming more common to send condolence money via bank transfer—especially among younger people. In that case, send a respectful message like:
“Sending my deepest condolences. I transferred a small condolence gift to your account.”
💡 Use a plain white envelope without decorations.
In Korea, both weddings and funerals use white envelopes—but for funerals, avoid writing in fancy fonts or using colorful designs.
Do’s and Don’ts at a Korean Funeral
While Korean funerals may seem formal, the key is to be respectful and quiet. Here are some simple guidelines to help you avoid awkward mistakes:
Do:
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Speak softly – Keep your voice low throughout your visit.
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Bow slowly and sincerely – A gentle, deep bow shows genuine respect.
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Follow the lead of others – Watching others can help you understand what to do.
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Offer brief words to the family – Even just “I’m sorry for your loss” is enough.
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Turn off your phone or set it to silent – No calls, no notifications.
Don’t:
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Don’t take photos or videos – It’s considered extremely disrespectful.
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Don’t wear bright colors or flashy accessories – Stick to black or dark tones.
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Don’t linger unless invited – Stay for food only if you’re encouraged.
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Don’t bring flowers unless asked – In Korea, the funeral hall usually arranges everything.
💡 Some families may have a religious ceremony (Buddhist chants, for example), but as a guest, you’re not required to participate. Just standing quietly is perfectly okay.
Extra Tips: What to Do If You’re Unsure
Funerals are emotionally hard, especially in a different culture. If you feel unsure at any point, here are some tips to keep you calm and respectful:
-
Ask a Korean friend or coworker to go with you
Having someone guide you can ease a lot of stress. Many Koreans are happy to help. -
Watch before you act
If you’re not sure when to bow or give money, wait and observe others first. -
Be sincere, not perfect
You don’t need to speak Korean or know every custom. Your presence and sincerity matter most. -
Arrive on time, but don’t stay too long
A 10–15 minute visit is common unless you’re very close to the family. -
Don't overthink it
Korean culture understands that foreigners may not know all the rules. As long as you're respectful and quiet, people will appreciate that you came.
💡 Remember, your effort to show up and offer condolences—no matter how small—means a lot to the grieving family.
FAQs About Korean Funerals for Foreigners
Q1. Can I attend a Korean funeral if I didn’t know the deceased personally?
Yes, you can. In Korea, it’s common to attend out of respect for the family, especially if you're close to the deceased’s coworker, child, or friend. Your presence shows support.
Q2. Is it okay to bring a non-Korean friend with me?
Absolutely. It’s perfectly fine to go together, especially if you're both there to support someone. Just be sure both of you follow proper etiquette—dress appropriately and behave quietly.
Q3. Are children allowed at Korean funerals?
It depends on the family. Small children aren’t usually brought unless they are close family. If you’re unsure, ask the host or someone in the family ahead of time.
Q4. What happens to the body after the funeral? Can I attend the burial or cremation?
Most funerals end with a private burial or cremation on the third day. These are usually for close family only. Unless you're directly invited, it’s best to attend only the binsang (funeral hall) visit.
Q5. Do I need to know Korean to attend?
Not at all. Most actions—like bowing and offering an envelope—are non-verbal. A simple nod, soft voice, and calm body language go a long way.
Q6. What if I arrive late at night? Is that rude?
Late-night visits are common, especially among coworkers. Funeral halls are often open 24/7 during the 3-day period. Just be quiet and respectful if you visit outside regular hours.
Attending a funeral in Korea may feel unfamiliar at first, but your respect and sincerity matter more than knowing every custom.
By learning just a few key steps, you can show genuine support to those grieving—and that means more than you may realize.
If this guide helped you feel more prepared, share it with others who might need it too.
And remember: in Korea, it’s not about being perfect—it’s about being present.
